To You, My Dear…

Can I live inside you? Because I feel safe when I’m with you, I feel happy, too. You’re my world, your chest is my place, and your heart is my home.

If you let me live in your beats, I’ll never leave. I told you more than a thousand times:

”I will never let you go”.

You know I love you and I do the impossible for you, but I feel like you don’t want me, you ignore. You treat me like anyone else.

I want to be your special story, your favorite person.

Tell me what I should do for you, order anything. I live for you, my heart beats for you. You want me to stop it? I’m ready. You want me to commit a suicide? I’m ready. You want me to leave you? No. making distance between us is the only request that I would say no for.

If you get out of my mind, I’ll die. I consider you as a mind, soul, bone, heart, body and life.

All my memories have been erased, but ours are still alive in my brain, they’re still beating showing in my sleep, I remember every small detail about you.

I feel so confused…

Am I in love with you??



You were like a book for my brain. I was reading you, injoying you, flipping your sheets, smelling your perfect sense.
I wanted to taste, but books can’t be eaten. I would do the impossible for you, but you didn’t allow me.
You Refused.

Now, you want that back. You want to read me, you want to smell me, you want to flip my sheets, you want to taste me, but…
I Refuse.

Even though you com back, you won’t be the same, you’ve changed so much.

You owned my heart, bring it back.
You owned my soul, bring it back.

Now, I’m leaving. You’re leaving. I ask you to leave, because I do not want to be with someone like you.

Leave Me, I Loved You.
Bye Bye.

The Hug…

In 7th of August, I had a dream about someone who’s so special. It’s Christian Bendek.

I was on a roof somewhere on earth having fun I a party when I saw him near a pool trying to kill himself with a knife on his neck. I ran fast to him, when I got there he was crying too hard, and then I hold him to my chest and told him that everything will be alright.

We went to somewhere with his friends to introduce me to them. I was greeting everybody with hugs. I looked at Christian, he was feeling bad so I gave him a hug.

When I hugged Christian I felt every feeling that the human can feel.

I Think Fate Is Telling Me That This Love Will Last Forever.

I’m In Love With You Mr. Bendek


Humanity and humans are the basis of world’s existence, and their thoughts are the origin of Their existence, so without thinking we’re not exist.

That was the inspiration of my new painting…

Roses are the thoughts.

Human is earth.

Blue (background) is the universe.





In Blue











New art of Halsey in blue pencil of Maped brand


To buy anything from Maped brand click here

and to buy the colors that i use click here , it’s only 7.60$

Get yourself ready for school.


To My Unknown Lover…

In the first time I saw you, I’ve been wondering if any relationship can be between us, because I saw many positive and attractive points in you, one of them was that you’re always smiling.

I’ve tried to be like you, but my nature defeated my acting skills, you know that I’m the sad, heated and negative human.

All my desires went to you want you to be the only family and the only friend. We know this won’t last forever, but unless I’ve tried to get you…

Maybe you don’t want me, but I need you the most, not just because I need friend, no. because I want someone beside me in every moment in life, stand with me, help me to stand when I fall and encourage me to be positive. And I need you because you’re like a part of my heart that I can’t give up on.


Now I Know…

With getting older and with my small experience in life I knew somethings and some feelings, most of them were bad but nice. Really, it was nice to get hurt but learn in return.

Now I know how it feels to be bad person in your society, this feeling starts to show when you don’t do anything to your country from moderation and good activities. Honestly, I’ve never did anything to make who’s around me better, okay, I can’t change the world like I want ,but when you live in stone-age-society you’ll know how it feels.

Now I know how it feels to lose someone close to you, I actually lost four in the last two years, and it was real hard to be broken, but this is life we have to deal with it. Honestly, I don’t know if I am the matter or them.

Now I know how life goes, you got to have more than one way in it, like you got to be bad, good, strong, effective, evil, big-hearted, patient, smart, stupid in some situations, sensitive and more…

But never be that weak person who can easily subject to life and give up in the first chance.

Now I know that I should be covers by myself and not wait to someone to do. I’m the only one who can protect me, that’s why you should be strong, fearless and powerful, to protect yourself.

Now I know that I shouldn’t trust anyone. No one is worthy to know you or to have you. Plus, everybody have secrets, the only crazy human who doesn’t have. So keep yourself to yourself.

I’m not telling you that you need to be like that quite, hated person and who hates everybody, no; you and I are not psychiatric patients.

Now I know most of things… and I’ll know more and try more even if it hurts.


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